Why Marriages Need an Annual Performance Review

One of the things I look forward to every year on my job is seeing what my manager thought of my overall job performance. It’s beneficial to me because I am reminded of my strengths, but also enlightened on my areas needing improvement. I’m usually aware of the things I could do to make me a much better employee. Sometimes discussing those things is necessary for my personal growth.

The same can be said for my marriage. There are actions I could take to make me a much better partner. However, I might get caught up in my own ideas of being a good wife, if I don’t ask my husband what he needs more of or what he wants to see less.

When you think about a job performance review, many of the sections can easily be transferred into our homes and within our marriage. Let’s break it down.

On a typical review, you’ll find a rating scale with the following scores and explanations.
1 Unacceptable (fails to meet standards)
2 Needs improvement (frequently fails to meet standards)
3 Satisfactory (generally meets standards)
4 Outstanding (frequently exceeds standards)
5 Excellent (consistently exceeds standards)

If we were talking about your marriage, what rating have you honestly earned so far? Next is to ask yourself what you did to achieve that particular rating. You would follow that up by asking your spouse what rating he/she would give you. Be sure to also ask your spouse to be clear on how you achieved that particular rating as well. Keep in mind, this information is necessary.

After you’ve secured a score, it’s time to get into specifics. How is the performance of your key job duties in your marriage? As a spouse, part of reviewing your role includes being clear on your responsibilities. Do you manage the finances? Are you responsible for handling certain chores around the house? Whatever you are tasked with, in your marriage, how have you performed in that area? Have you displayed any of the following: dependability, teamwork, positive attitude, and initiative? Again, it’s important to be honest and to also receive feedback from your spouse.

Once you’ve secured your score and discussed your performance, you must focus on creating annual goals to ensure your marriage continues to stay on track. Think about what you want the next year of your marriage to actually look like. Now decide what you specifically have to do to contribute to that goal. Share your annual marriage goal with your spouse and share some specific ways he/she could help you in that area.

And just like in a work performance review, there should also be recommendations for improvements from your spouse. It’s crucial that you just receive this information without reacting or becoming upset. If it’s how your spouse feels, you’ll have to respect it.

We all know why performance reviews are needed on the job. Employers want the absolute best out of their employees. Don’t you want the absolute best out of your spouse and vice versa? If so, a marriage performance review might work for you and your spouse. Why not implement something into your relationship that measures your performance and holds you both accountable for achieving the goals you set for your marriage

What are your thoughts on a marriage performance review?

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