Mistakes are life lessons in disguise. Although they’re uncomfortable in the moment, each one teaches us something about ourselves. They either reveal a strength we have or an area needing some correction. This is how individuals learn and improve.

In relationships, for example, love errors help us discover more of what we want. Love and marriage is all about growth and personal development. There are some actions others may deem as mistakes but that are actually good for our marriage and our own development. Here are just a few:

Mistake: Failing in past relationships.

Benefit: In some cases we don’t know how to love properly if we haven’t loved poorly first. Life is all about learning from past mistakes. We learn what we don’t want to carry into a future marriage by recognizing the takeaways from those failed relationships.

Mistake: Giving the silent treatment.

Benefit: If this tool is used properly it helps couples communicate better. During disagreements and heated moments sometimes it’s necessary to get silent. You can pause, ask your partner for a moment, reflect on the situation, and consider a possible solution that works for both of you. As long as something significant is happening while you’re silent, this could be good for your marriage.

Mistake: Trying to be perfect in your relationship.

Benefit: The intentions with this one are noble. You want to get everything right, that’s a great thing. But what you must remember is both you and your partner are human. Humans make decisions from emotional states, occasionally causing conflict. This is normal. If you don’t get it right, it’s ok.

Mistake: Having your guard up initially.

Benefit: No one wants to experience heartache. So having those walls up in the beginning is pretty common in relationships. The benefit is that trust will build naturally and earnestly. Your partner will work hard at helping you peel back those layers by proving they are worthy of all of you.

Mistake: Having conflict in your relationship.

Benefit: Conflict isn’t a mistake, it’s actually healthy. We grow in conflict and learn something new about our partner in the process. It’s normal to disagree. As long as you’re listening, learning and applying what you’ve learned, it’s all good.

Mistake: Getting relationship advice from others.

Benefit: Some of us were taught early on not to air our dirty laundry. However, it’s beneficial to your relationship to seek advice from someone you trust who’s been there, done that. Why not seek guidance from someone who was able to overcome a challenge you’re currently experiencing. It just makes sense. It’s a resource couples should tap into more frequently.

Sometimes mistakes cost us something. Other times they can show up and teach us how to love stronger and better. Remember, mistakes are part of your growth as an individual. But don’t sleep on just how much they can also benefit your relationship.

Question: Which mistakes have benefited your relationship?